The Rites of Spring

Springtime is beautiful in Seattle. First come the crocus, early in February, their colorful heads poking up from the bare ground. Shortly after them the cherry trees come into bloom, their blossoms like pink-and-white clouds against the gray sky. Mobs of people stroll in the Arboretum, or on the UW campus, to enjoy the sakura’s transient beauty.

Fresh bouquets for sale in the Pike Place Market.

Then the riot of tulips: fields and fields of them, tulips of all shapes, types, and colors, so many we have festivals dedicated to them, and every bouquet in the Pike Place Market is brimming with colorful tulip flowers. Roses are on their way, already; if it stays cool they will linger through the summer. All of that, plus other blooms and flowers of every description. Yes, it’s gorgeous, a reminder of the Earth’s renewal, the cyclical nature of our lives.

Mostly, though, it’s all about sex.

Flowers, really, are just a plant’s hermaphroditic sex organs. It’s no coincidence that a rose’s curling petals so closely resemble a woman’s inner labia. Nor that those pollen-coated stamens rise proudly erect, just like an eager man’s cock. Nature, that naughty minx, is always throwing sex in everybody’s face. If plants had legs, they’d be spread wide right now, an open invitation to all the other randy Plantae. Humans, meanwhile, are burying their faces in these sweet-smelling sexual organs, just enjoying the flowers.

So keep that in mind next time you’re cutting a bouquet. Those flowers aren’t as innocent as they seem. They’re just out to get laid – exactly like you and me!


Watch This Space–Interview With Fionna Guillaume

Many thanks to fellow ASPA author Pandora Spocks for hosting this interview. What fun!

Pandora Spocks

Erotic romance author Fionna Guillaume, member of the Alliance of Self Published Authors, was kind enough to answer my interview questionnaire, Pandora’s Dirty Dozen.  Get to know Fionna Guillaume.

1. Describe your books and your writing style.

 I absolutely love books. All sorts of genres appeal to me, and I feel like my writing reflects my varied reading appetite. My work is all erotic, for sure, but the priority is the story. Rich description and long, curling paragraphs often find a place in my writing, inspired by masters of long ago. Mostly, though, I just want to tell a great story – with plenty of sexy parts!

2. Talk about your process. Where do you write? When do you write? Are you linear or do you write scenes and put them together later? Who are your muses and where do you get your best ideas?

 I write on my…

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Glasses – never forget them in the morning, so why do I forget them in my writing?

My morning routine is usually the same: wake up, hit snooze, pretend to sleep for ten more minutes. Finally accept the morning, get out of bed, sigh & grumble, stretch. Wash my face, brush my hair, get dressed. Then put on my glasses. Because, you know, being able to see is rather valuable in my line of work. Without my glasses, the world is a fuzzy compilation of shapes and colors. Not to mention my depth perception is totally shot.

I never forget my glasses in the morning. So why do I forget them in my writing?

When imagining my characters, I always begin with their face. I envision the color and texture of their hair, the shape of their mouth, their eyes, nose, cheekbones, and neck. By then I’ve usually figured out what body type they have and their personality is solidifying. Once I understand what kind of person they are, I can dress them – and undress them – in my writing. But up until now, I realize I have yet to write a character with glasses.

This frustrates me, because I never noticed it was happening. What is my deal? How can I wear glasses myself, yet totally ignore them when designing a character? Especially when I am proud of my bespectacled beauty. Glasses are part of my wardrobe, and an essential part of how I present myself to the world. Tons of hot girls wear glasses (especially in Portland. Haven’t seen this hilarious video? Oh, well you should!). And guys with glasses are definitely a turn-on for me… just one more thing to enjoy taking off.

So, definitely I am a fan of glasses. That doesn’t explain why I keep forgetting them. Here’s my working theory: despite the Hipster big-frame fad, we are essentially an anti-glasses society. When actors wear glasses in Hollywood movies, they are rarely the main heartthrob. And remember those 90’s makeover movies, where the cool boy at school transforms an ugly girl into a bombshell? What’s the first thing they do? Oh yeah – get rid of her glasses. Despite all evidence to the contrary, glasses just aren’t considered sexy.

Well now that I am aware, I shall strive to change it! Not going to bother with my current work in progress. After all, it would be a bummer for my poor character to lose her 20/20 vision halfway through the story. 🙂 (Ha, 20/20 vision. I don’t even have that in my dreams!) But next time, yes, next time, there shall be glasses!

Just have to remember to write them in… and make sure someone slips them sexily off.

Now That’s Hot: new erotic romance release!

I don’t think I want to go into town today,” Maggie said as she and Bobby lingered over an al fresco breakfast.  “I don’t even think I want to get dressed today.”  She smiled lazily and reached her arms over her head in a stretch that pushed her bare breasts front and center.

Bobby rewarded her with his lopsided grin as his cock offered an enthusiastic salute.  “Okay by me.  Hell, we can go naked all weekend if you want.”

The truth was that since they’d gone below deck the previous night, neither of them had bothered with clothes.  They’d fucked hard in a heated, feral sort of way, come back on deck to drink more wine, then headed back to the master cabin to make love more slowly the second time.  The third time, they’d faced each other on their sides, joined intimately, each leaning back to watch as his cock speared in and out of her slick pussy.  Across the breakfast table, he watched a sated smile cross her face, and he knew she was reliving last night as well.

“Of course, the folks in town might have something to say if we show up tomorrow in the buff,” he mused.

“We’re definitely going in to town tomorrow?”

Bobby nodded.  “It’s your birthday, cher.  There are reservations to keep.”

“Oh,” she said, grinning like a little girl.  “Well, let’s have naked Friday, then.”

He raised his glass of orange juice.  “By proclamation of the birthday girl, it is hereby so ordered that today shall be known as Naked Friday!”  Maggie touched her glass to his and they both laughed.  “How about we sail to a reef a few miles out, and we spend the day snorkeling?”

“That sounds perfect,” she said.

The first place they stopped had a few boats nearby so Bobby sailed to another reef a bit further out, and they found the privacy they wanted.  They anchored just off the reef and lowered the transom to create a dive platform complete with a ladder into the water.  Maggie and Bobby snorkeled for hours, delighting in scores of tropical fish, large sea turtles, and even a few sharks.

As the sun sank lower in the western sky, Bobby clung to the ladder.  “Maybe we should make our way back toward Key West,” he said, placing his snorkel gear on the platform.

“I’m not quite ready yet,” Maggie answered.  She swam up to the platform and put her own gear there, then swished backwards, treading water a few feet away.  Her breasts floated near the top of the water and she gave him a wicked smile.

“Not quite ready?” he asked, arching an eyebrow.  “Did we forget something?

“I didn’t forget,” she said as she swam to him and gripped his shoulders.

Bobby continued to hold the ladder with one hand, wrapping his other arm around her waist and pulling her to him.  Her lips found his and latched on as her legs wrapped around his waist.  “I want you right here, bayou boy,” she murmured against his cheek.

“Then you should take me, cher,” he growled as he devoured her lips.  She reached between them to position his hard cock at her entrance and leaned back to look into his eyes.  Slowly she tightened her legs around his body pulling him firmly into her tight pussy, her gaze never leaving his.

“You are so sexy,” he murmured as he pumped in and out of her sex, feeling his climax building.  She tightened around him and moaned as her head dropped back.  “Come on cher, let it go,” he urged softly.  As she cried out, his own release came as well, and after, they clung to each other trying to regain their breath.


Pretty freaking hot, right? And that’s just one steamy excerpt from (fellow ASPA author) Pandora Spocks! She just released the third and final novel of her contemporary erotica series, Rannigan’s Redemption. Haven’t read any of them yet? Well, you’re in luck, because with the release of Ransoming Redemption, you can read them all one after another!

Now, Ms. Sprredemption photoocks writes the kind of erotica I love: smart, sexy, sophisticated romance. Smut for people who also like to think. Because, as we all know well, our brains are the most erogenous zone in our bodies. If that sounds good to you – and you know it does! – skip on over and pick up this delicious trio. I certainly plan to!

Want to know more? Take a look at Pandora Spocks website & blog.

Or her Amazon author page!

Grab it before it’s out: Unique, Thoughtful, and Sexy Paranormal Thriller

amanay bannerLast year I had the great good fortune of reading a paranormal thriller that, despite my usual sex-heavy reading appetite, I absolutely loved. As a general rule, vampires make me yawn, grumble, and/or laugh. (Seriously, once I read a vampire-werewolf romance in which the main vampire character – supposed to be mind-numbingly hot, right? – appeared wearing cerulean blue underwear, that matched his cerulean eyes, which also coordinated with his cerulean sheets… oh my god, I would turn around and leave that bedroom right away! And that was before the sparkly Twilight-vampire craze. Save me!) Anyhow… She Dies At The End, by the excellent A.M. Manay, converted me. This isn’t your typical vampire thriller. It’s totally unlike anything I’ve ever read – in the very best way! Vampires, werewolves, fairies, and humans are all portrayed with sensitivity, care, and individuality. The backstory is rich, drawing me in and making me wish for more.

Pre-order now! You really want to…

Which is why I’m delighted to join Ms. Manay in announcing the arrival of the sequel. And not a minute too soon – we were all suffering from the cliffhanging ending of November’s first adventure! All I know is it’s bound to be good, with the diverse, thoughtful, and, yes, sexy cast of characters already in place.

The good news for new readers is you can go ahead and read She Dies At The End, which you should finish just in time to quickly follow up with the eagerly awaited She Lights Up the Dark. Go ahead and pre-order now. I guarantee you’ll want to know what happens next, right away!

Just to whet your palate, here is a short excerpt from Chapter 1:

She knew only one thing after she clawed her way out of the ground:  she had to eat.  Two sheep and a billy goat gave their lives for November’s first meal of her new one.  She required no persuasion or instruction, falling upon them instinctively when she’d emerged from the earth, filthy and ravenous.  She tore into them, a gleeful savage.

When she was full and they were empty, she knelt next to them, stunned, reaching up a tentative finger to touch the fangs protruding from her bloodstained mouth.  The animals had tasted of grass and sunshine and milk.  For a few moments, she had lived their bucolic lives, now over.  She felt warm, fuzzy with pleasure.  Her head spun.

November wasn’t quite sure where she was, or even who she was, but then it all came back in a rush.

As she walks among her friends, a sniper’s bullet finds her belly.  She falls to the dirt as she takes the death meant for another.  Ilyn carries her inside, eyes burning.  She lies in front of a fireplace, her life bleeding away, but there is no pain on her face.  Her friends surround her.  She agrees to live to fight another day.  He takes her blood and gives her his own.  Now there is fear and struggle and rejection, but it is too late, far too late.  They watch her die  They watch her die because of them.

November returned to the present, the ground solid beneath her knees once again.

I died.  I’m a vampire.

For a moment, she wasn’t certain if she would laugh or weep.  The amazed cackle that escaped between her fingers settled that question.  It was only after the glow of feeding had faded that she noticed the pandemonium that had erupted around her.

They were looking for something.  Zinnia was on the ground.  She looked completely undone.  And Ilyn . . . Ilyn looked terrible.  It took November a long, confused moment to realize that what they were looking for . . . was her.

Intrigued? Learn more and connect with the author at !

A well-needed makeover… Ancient Greece style! (+giveaways!)

So as most of you fair readers know, my first – and, up till now, only – full-length erotic romance is An Amazon’s Equal. It’s been published, for sale, out there in the world for a while now, with my original cover art at the helm. As you also know, my first visionamazon cover jpg 2 for the cover was, alas, censored, due to artistic nudity. (Here’s a little reminder of how fabulous it was! Sigh… I did love that vision. But, art must bow to business sometimes, I suppose…)

Anyway, it became clear to me that An Amazon’s Equal needed a makeover. I still take pride in my art, both written and visual, so I knew I wanted to do the cover image by hand as usual. But it needed something more; it needed flair. (Also, clothes…)

That’s when I called on my friend The Book Khaleesi. She took my artwork and my vision, and put it all together into a fabulous new cover. Are you ready? Here it comes:

Amazons Equal ebook Cover

It looks amazing, right? Exactly as I’d hoped – but way better than my meager cover design skills could produce alone. So grateful for the fast, professional service! Now I can feel proud of my work, from the inside out.

Now I like celebrating milestones – like my first professionally-designed cover – and I decided to do it with a couple giveaways.

First: a fabulous Goodreads giveaway for six print editions of An Amazon’s Equal.  Now you know my feelings about paper; I love it. (Read more about my transition to eBook reading here! I still prefer to hold a real paperback in my hands, caress its pages, heft its weight, give it all my attention in a way Kindle will never replace… but I do like my eReader for the bus.)

Second: for the next three days – Yes! Count ’em! THREE! – you can grab a Kindle edition of An Amazon’s Equal for FREE on Amazon. That’s right, free April 10, 11, 12, for your immediate reading pleasure.

Please share the news with your friends, erotica-loving acquaintances, dirty-minded bosses, kinky grandmas, or whoever else needs a good dose of New Adult erotic romance in their life.


A interview with…. ME!

interview image

This week I had the great pleasure of spending some time (via e-mail only, alas!) with Ms. Eeva Lancaster. You may know her as The Book Khaleesi, a talented designer who works with self-published authors to prepare top-quality covers, interior formatting, media kits, and more all affordable for hardworking indie authors. (Her work is so good, I commissioned her to redesign a couple of my own book covers… and you know how picky I am about my art!) She is also the author of several highly-rated books, including the super-informative Now What? series. (Anyone interested in online freelancing MUST read her work! As an online freelancer herself, Eeva really shares what it’s like in the trenches.)

I first connected with Eeva through the ASPA (Alliance of Self Published Authors), of which she is the founder.  It’s an amazing group of authors, working together to promote one another’s work. What I love about it is that the group brings together all genres, backgrounds, and nationalities. My reading there has enriched my perspective – and my craft – many times.

Today, however, I am delighted to share Eeva’s interview with, well, me. Everyone loves to be interviewed. It gives you the warm fuzzies – and show me someone who doesn’t like talking about themselves, and I’ll show you a liar! It was also a lovely opportunity for me to reflect on my writing, and my plans for the future. Plus, it’s tons of fun!

So please, hop on over to Eeva’s blog! You can read my interview there, and hey, you might just come across lots of other great reading material, too. 🙂