Well, here we are again…

And if you haven’t noticed, my Internet presence of late has been, well, none.

There is a perfectly good reason for that! My real workaday self is very pleased and proud of it. I’m doing well, happy and healthy and all those good things. However, all this excitement and general busy-ness of life leaves very little time for Fionna Guillaume.

Those of you who are also independent authors know that this hobby-cum-lifestyle is real work. It takes time and, more importantly, creative energy. That’s what has been sucked completely out of me these past many months — for the best possible reason, but exhausting nonetheless.

Therefore, forgive me if I seem absent. I am, indeed. But this isn’t the first time I’ve had to take months (or even years) off of writing, and in fact, it can be a wonderful thing. Whenever I’ve gone through this in the past, I emerge on the other side a more thoroughly interesting person, with a wealth of new experiences to draw upon, all of which makes me a better writer than before. So don’t worry about me; I’m just in the chrysalis stage. And one of these days, hopefully a bring spring morning, I’ll burst out again and start fluttering around in my usual way.

Until then, dear readers, be well! And keep reading erotica. It’s good for body and soul!

Smashwords Summer Sale!

I do love a good “stick it to The Man,” and Smashwords is a fabulous way to do so. Now I appreciate Amazon for many reasons, but it is anything but a small, creative haven for indie authors. In case you were wondering, here are some reasons to love Smashwords:

• Wide distribution to many different online markets
• Erotica-friendly! There is NO adult dungeon, and they are much freer with what can be included on sexy covers.
• Larger share of sales (60%-80%)
• Complete author control over book pricing, sales and coupon promotions
• Support smaller business and feel good 🙂

And of course, the main reason I’m writing this is to promote the fabulous Smashwords Summer Sale! Through the entire month of July, many Smashwords authors are offering their work at a huge discount, or free. Naturally, I hopped on this boat. I enjoy sharing my work with a wider audience, and this is a perfect opportunity to do so. (Authors, if you have any work published on Smashwords, you can join the sale anytime. So don’t hesitate!)

If you’ve been curious to read some of my erotic stories, but just don’t feel ready to shell out the 99 cents, that’s okay. Head on over to my Smashwords Author Page and read some for free! As usual, my only request is that you leave a review. Those reader reviews are an indie author’s main sales pitch, and we appreciate each one!

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Publish or Perish!

As it has been, oh, a VERY long time since I’ve managed to write anything, I’ve been reflecting lately on that wise old saying: publish or perish. The data behind it is solid, in my limited experience. Whenever I publish a new story, it tends to sell best in its first few weeks of existence. And sometimes, having a new story out gets more exposure for older work, causing a spike in sales. All of this is great! However, the flip side of the coin is that, inevitably, if there is a dip in publishing rate, there is also a lull in sales.

This must be true for many traditionally published authors as well. Plenty of books out there are excellent, but if somewhat older, and not big names, they have their heyday on the bookshelves and then are set adrift in the bottomless maw of Amazon.com. Unless you’re J.K. Rowling or otherwise independently wealthy, there can be no sitting on your laurels. However, “publish or perish” hits indie authors particularly hard. We’re little fish in a huge pond, and the only way to makes waves is through exposure — getting our work into the hands of as many readers as possible. And the only way I know to do that is to write lots (and well); publish quickly; push and celebrate your new work as long as it is “new;” then do the whole thing again. It’s an exhausting cycle, but that’s the way the writing business works.

Which is why, at least in my case, writing is a wonderful craft I work to improve. I’m proud of my stories, and I strive to make them excellent. But, I am also okay with limited sales during my slow writing times. Life happens, and that always must take priority. The good news is, I have confidence that when the time is right, I’ll be back in the saddle and into the old “publish or perish” cycle once again.

ERWA: the erotica writer’s best online resource!

Although I’ve been off the grid for some time now (and yes, looks like that trend will continue into the new year. Sorry folks; it happens!) there is one thing I do to keep up with what’s what in the erotica world. It’s something I’ve been doing for years now, and I highly suggest you do the same: sign up for ERWA.

In my opinion, the ERWA writers’ group is the premier place for independent erotica authors online. Like any diverse group, you meet people of all levels and ranges of interest, but there is a distinction: everyone is there to read and write erotica, and everyone is there to better their writing craft. Boom. What more can you ask?

As a casual member of ERWA Storytime list, I receive many e-mails a day with works in progress to read and critique. This is a great way to improve your writing, by reading what others are up to, suggesting changes, and reflecting on how you can incorporate techniques you like into your own craft. Plus, I have always received excellent, professional-level feedback on work I have submitted. Invariably, whether giving or receiving critiques, I have come out of it a better and more thoughtful writer.

I also hang out on the ERWA Writers list, which is all kinds of fun. Discussions range from current trends in the market, to questions about publishing or branding, to thoughts on the writing craft. They also send out frequent calls for submissions, so you can target work for potential inclusion in anthologies — a great way to get out there!

Whether you’re an experienced erotica author, a newbie dipping your toes in, or just an avid reader of fun and sexy stories, ERWA is where you need to be. I guarantee you will become a better writer for it! (And read some hot free stories while you’re there, too…)

Yes, yes, I know…

Yes, I fully admit it, I’ve been silent for way too long. This time of year is always a slam at work, and other things happen in — ahem — “real life” that take precedence. That’s not to say I have no creative projects (I always have a story or ten bouncing around in my brain). One of these days, when I manage to sit down with the right cup of tea and a few stimulating hours, I’ll get back to work.

In the meantime, I offer the following tidbits:

As ever, my Tarot-card-inspired journey is published and available to read for free, anytime! Check it out on Inkitt or Wattpad.

Also, just to prove to you that I’m still writing (kind of), here is a little — and shockingly safe-for-work, which is unusual for me — excerpt of my current work in progress. It’s a historical fiction set in colonial New Orleans, featuring a young girl who is being groomed (Gigi-esque) for life as the consort of a rich man who can promise her, and her children, the security her mother and grandmother worked so hard to attain…

1712, Nouvelle Orleans

Marie Celeste winced as her mother pulled the comb through her thick, tangled hair. She sat, wearing only a shift, in the warm, humid night. The night of her presentation into society. Perhaps, the night of her awakening to womanhood.

“Don’t ever forget, ma princesse, that this is the most important evening of all. You must ensnare the right kind of man—the kind who can keep you.”

“I know, maman.” Marie Celeste attempted not to sigh. She had this lecture by heart.

“Your grandmother, she knew. A proud woman, she, straight from the shores of Africa. A Senegal woman. She may have been a slave, oui, but she didn’t stay that way. Mère Celeste knew how to walk, how to snap her eyes and catch a white man’s attention. Why do you think I named you after her? Your grandmother was born free, and she died free. So will I. And so will you.”

She twisted Marie Celeste’s hair, hard, making her yelp.

“Ouch! Maman!”

“Quiet, baby. I’m almost done.” With several more quick tugs and the strategic placement of pins, she managed to corral Marie Celeste’s unruly curls into a stylish knot. “Beautiful.”

Marie Celeste picked up their old hand mirror—another relic of grandmère’s—and peered at her reflection. The hairstyle was flattering, with a fluff of curls framing her face, tightening to a braided coil at the back. Certainly, she’d never looked better. How she felt was another matter.

As if sensing her daughter’s disquiet, Yvette quietly took the mirror away. She grasped Marie Celeste’s hands in her older, darker ones. Her eyes were dark and intense as she spoke.

“I know you have heard this story so many times, princesse, but listen. Just once more.” Yvette drew a heavy breath. Her hands tightened on her daughter’s. “Freedom cannot be given, bought, or sold. Freedom must be taken. And tonight, you will take it.”

Back in the saddle again!

After a LONG hiatus, I’m pleased to announce that I have actually written something. (Ta-DAH!) Actually, it’s silly, because it’s the story I’ve been working on for months, and hadn’t managed to get the last scene written to wrap it up. Now, at last, the thing is finished and tied up in a nice pink bow.

Just in time for my summer vacation, which, as you know, is full of relaxation and getting great ideas, but generally void of actual, productive writing!

So here is my promise to you, my faithful blog readers, who have been so patient with my extended absence. I PROMISE to get these three new stories — yes, I have been sitting on three; it’s embarrassing — edited, cover art’d, and out to you before the end of June.

There! I said it, I wrote it, and now I have to do it. So stay tuned! The upcoming weeks have three new releases from me coming right up. (And, I hope, plenty of other sexy surprises, too.)

Getting Inked

Remember that creative slump I mentioned last time? Yeah, I’m still there. It’s a sad, yet comforting place to be. No pressure, just the stories gradually fermenting until they get so bubbly the cork pops off, and I can write again.

In the meantime, good thing I’ve got plenty of finished stories to revisit! Today I’d like to offer my free novel, Major Arcana: Sex, Love, and Tarot, available to read on Inkitt. Remember this one? It was my experimental work from last year: each chapter began by drawing a Tarot card from my own deck, and using that to guide the story. Lots of fun. And I am really pleased with the result. It’s contemporary erotic romance (heavy on the erotic parts, naturally!), set in my lovable hometown of Seattle, and featuring a diverse cast of characters. Oh, did I mention it’s free? Yeah, so go get on Inkitt and read it now!

What’s Inkitt, you say? Well, I heard of it from indie author/publisher/editor extraordinaire, Ms. Eeva Lancaster.It’s like Wattpad in that authors post their work, either in progress or complete, and readers can peruse, glance, or read for free. Unlike Wattpad, Inkitt offers the possibility of a publishing contract. For authors, it can be a great way to preview your work, see how readers respond to it – and maybe even get offered a publisher in the bargain. For readers, it’s a chance to get first looks at new indie stories and novels from all genres (Yes! Erotica is allowed! Hooray for dirty words and graphic sex scenes! No need to curtail your content, as Wattpad requires). So far, I’m enjoying it.

So whether you’re new or an old Inkitt fan, check out my free novel there. The cards lead in mysterious directions… and all of them somehow involve our valiant protagonist in all sorts of sexy-romantic situations.

Major Arcana: sex, love, and Tarot

Rosemary has just been dumped. Again.

Everything in her life seems stuck in a rut: work, family, romance, not to mention her sex life. In desperation, she takes her sister’s advice and begins a journey of self-realization with a deck of Tarot cards. That decision is what changes everything.

Guided by the Tarot, she soon finds herself making decisions she’d never considered before. With two attractive men vying for her attentions – and her body – Rosemary is forced to reconsider what she truly wants, and how far she’ll to go to get it.

Set in the artsy, quirky scene of Seattle, Major Arcana offers a glimpse into the power of the self, the diversity of erotic experience, and the joys, agonies, and risks of love.

A Creative Slump

We’ve all been there, right? Things get busy, life is chaotic, and writing falls by the wayside. There’s a more-than-halfway-done story sitting in my file, and yet, somehow, I haven’t managed to sit down and actually finish it. Which is frustrating, because scenes keep dancing in my head, poking at me, burning to be let out… but those fires are doused by the ‘everything else.’

So, in short, I’m not feeling the writing these days. That’s not to say I don’t have stories in the works – there are plenty! – but it’s been weeks since I actually had the creative energy to actually sit down and write. (What can I say? Life happens. And as a part-time artisan, everything else has to be balanced and settled before art can take the forefront again.)

Hopefully I’ll be out of it soon, but if you’re wondering ‘Where is Fionna!?’ that’s the simple answer: in a creative slump.

Vive la difference?

Everyone knows that opposites attract. Right? That’s like, the oldest rule of coupling up, or creating fictional couples that belong together. Every romance writer knows, the heroine invariably detests the hero right off the bat — usually for his aggravating confidence and disarming seduction skills — but as the story wears on, she discovers he’s actually a total catch, does a 180, and bam! Opposites come together in a burst of fireworks. (Personally, I blame Jane Austen for all this.)

Of course, in real life things don’t usually happen that way. If you can’t stand a guy when you meet him, chances are you’ll never like him that much. Probably you’re right, and he really IS a jerk. Moreover, when you are attracted to someone in the first place, it’s usually for an entirely different reason: because you have things in common.

I still remember a college Biology class teaching us that some animals actually are attracted to difference. The more different the better! Orange bird gets the hots for blue bird of same species, for example. Then the professor asked us, “And what about humans? Are we attracted to differences, or to similarities?” Of course, we all parroted ‘opposites attract!’ And then she showed us a bunch of engagement photos. Like these:

(All courtesy of Google image search; click to go to source site)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

First of all, I’d like to say that I wish all of these lovely couples the very best! Long life, happy marriage, and all the good things that go with both. Anyway, as you can see — and as I saw all those years ago in Biology class — most couples are together because, well, they look alike. Because they ARE alike. They have a lot in common. That’s why they’re getting married!

And before you say anything like ‘But what about multiracial couples?’ I will counter by saying that, at least to me, ‘looking alike’ has less to do with the shape of your face, your height, size or shape, or color of your skin, than it does with your expression, the way you carry yourself, and how your personality shows. Kind of like how people grow to look like their dogs, right? And vice versa? Same thing for couples. (My mother-in-law took a look at our wedding photos and proclaimed that my husband and I both had the same smile; they could cut and paste them on our mouths and you wouldn’t know the difference! Doesn’t say much for my shade of lipstick… too discreet, maybe.) So whatever combination you happen to have made, I would bet you and your honey, set side by side, would ‘look like a couple.’ Am I right? Right. Let’s move on.

The reason I’m blogging about this today is because I’m thinking about what it all means for romance writers. Opposites attract, yes, but similarities are what bring staying power to a relationship. Therefore, when developing your characters, keep in mind that they must have more in common than not, if they are to be believable.  Maybe they are the same height, either much taller or shorter than ‘average.’ Perhaps they have a similar interest that ties them together, and affects the way they dress or behave. In lots of couples, both partners wear glasses. Something as simple as that, and yet it can make all the difference.

So let those hot opposites sparkle, crash, and burn, and vive les similaires!

Excitica: more self-publishing options for erotica authors

So with the recent demise of our smutty old friend, All Romance eBooks, indie erotica authors  were left somewhat bereft of self-publishing options. Besides mega-business Amazon and upstart Smashwords, which offer so much content erotica can get lost in the crowd. Plus they censor your best nude covers. Well mourn no more! Excitica is here to pick up the pieces.

The What: An online bookstore selling only romance and, especially, erotica.

The How: It’s fairly easy to set up a publisher account, either for yourself or multiple authors sharing the same publisher.

• You’ll need to do some legwork on your own, in terms of file preparation and conversion. (The free e-book program, Calibre, is great for this.) They take Epub, Mobi, and PDF documents.
• You also need a complete cover, 1000 pixels height maximum. (Covers can be more explicit! Hooray! Booties and (most of) boobies are welcome. No gentleman’s bits, however, as far as I can see… alas.)
• Everything else is up to you, the publisher, to input: blurb, categories, etc. (Lots of sub-categories are listed, which is nice. Shop around, though, or you may miss one that applies to your book!) You also set the price, anything from $0.00 on up.

The What-Else: Excitica is a place for all your dirtiest stories!

• Here is a brief list of some popular tags: Anal, Menage, BSDM, Brother, Creampie, Daddy, Gangbang, Dubcon (dubious consent, in case you didn’t know), Horror, Incest, Rape, Schoolgirl, Sister, Taboo

And there’s plenty more! Anyway, the good news is, if you write anything like that (and hey, don’t we all, sometimes?) then you’ll be among your people. There’s also a romance section, but from a brief glance at the homepage, it’s clear that Excitica is centered on erotica.

The Sales?: Honestly, not great so far for me. Perhaps their readership is limited. Maybe my stuff isn’t dirty enough, or my artsy covers don’t appeal among the sea of naked torsos. However, in the month since I’ve been signed up, I’ve had several downloads of my free stories, and one purchase. So hey, that’s a start!

If you’re an indie erotica author looking to get out there, get more visibility, and sell more books, you might take a look at Excitica.